"Everyday, the Choices you make. Say what you are and who your heart beats for!"

Lately, I have been feeling extremely exhausted and completely drained. This past week I worked almost 72 hours and that's pretty much the story of my life right now. Working 7 days a week at 2 jobs is exhausting and tiring. Honestly, I feel like my faith and insanity is all but gone. I have been keeping it all together pretty well but today I hit a wall. I just broke down- wanting to give up and crawl into my bed and never get up. So, while Graham was sleeping I just let it all go. I got on my knees before my Lord and gave my burdens to Him. I have been dwelling in the negative and continually been relying on my own strength. The Lord has been tugging at my heart these last couple of weeks and I have been ignoring it- and we all know what happens when we don't give it all to Him- we fail. Its something I am constantly having to remind myself of. I am someone who likes to control things. I am organized and want to know whats going to happen. Surrendering my strength and energy to Him is something I daily have to pray about. I opened my bible and began to think about how the way that I live my life is a testimony of what I believe about God. If believe in Psalm 73:26 ("My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.") then I am called to live like that. God has been convicting me about this in all areas of my life. "Do everything without complaining or arguing"- a verse we hear often but something I struggle with so much at home. I ask myself, is my life a living testimony of the Creator of the Universe? Can people obviously see Christ in my life? Am I living a life worthy of the calling? I am blessed to have 2 jobs- there are so many people who are unemployed, so why am I complaining? I desire and I am trying to pursue a relationship like this. An intimate love relationship with my Savior. Not to say that I am never gonna struggle but God is definitely changing me and challenging my faith. He has given me an AMAZING husband who encourages me daily. Always reminding me of how much he loves and appreciates me. He brings so much joy into my life and is always serving me. He is a great reminder and example of God love! Anyways... That's whats been on my heart lately.

"If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." Isaiah 7:9